Cases and causes of ‘benevolent sexism’ in Bangladesh

Published : Friday, 9 September, 2022 at 12:00 AM  C

Sakir Mohamamd

“You don't have to pay for the dinner, you are a girl".

If you are a girl living in Bangladesh, I am sure you have heard this remark numerous times. Let me guess your reaction to this remark. You probably stand awkwardly confused at whether this was a good thing or not. Perhaps you didn't notice the connotation of the statement! In either case you are a victim of benevolent sexism. Given that our brains have internalized Bollywood's iconic scenes of Shahrukh Khan's movies such as Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge where the gullible heroine "Simran" is portrayed to be fragile and in need for "protection", detecting benevolent sexism can most certainly be difficult for us.

Benevolent sexism is a more subtle form of sexism that is expressed as a seemingly positive and harmless gesture or comment. This form of sexism emphasizes the idea of the men's role of protection and providing for women. Often these actions are masked as putting women on a pedestal in a chivalrous way.

This protection often comes from the compliance of women to traditional gender roles where women are seen as soft, supple, and inferior beings requiring protection. The social acceptance of this form of sexism consequently creates an inconspicuous mechanism that perpetuates gender inequality. This form of sexism compared to hostile sexism is endorsed by both genders. This results in women internalizing the comments from their everyday interactions which cripples their confidence, dignity, independence, and professional development in the workplace.

So the next time you hear someone saying "Oh, you are not like other girls. You surprisingly know a lot about sports'' call them out for being sexist. A fair share of warning though you probably will get labeled "too radical" or "too feminist". Please respond by asking what being "too feminist" means.

You might be wondering what the value of this subtle confrontation might be. A single interaction of calling someone on being sexist propel the wheel of unlearning gender stereotypes that are far too deeply entrenched in this patriarchal society. Your individual act of challenging the stereotypical gender norms may prevent another woman from internalizing themselves to be inferior. Hence don't shy away from calling them out. Now to men who are reading this article, if your first instinct is not to label someone "too feminist" and be dismissive, congratulations that's your first step in the right direction.

The most effective way to combat benevolent sexism is by increasing awareness of both genders. Question yourself. Check your assumptions about how people should or shouldn't act and live based on their gender. Reflect on your thoughts and think of ways you can interrupt sexist comments. If you hear others making benevolently sexist comments, challenge them and be supportive of women who stand up against it. Lastly but most importantly start conversations in your households, workplaces, and locker rooms.

Whilst eradicating the widespread prevalence of benevolent sexism in Bangladesh might be a long shot in the future, taking small steps towards a change can result in more women being confident in themselves and their abilities. It's high time we foster a society that allows women to unapologetically be their own selves without having to constantly bow down to the stereotypical gender norms that puts them in a confined box.

The writer is a research associate of South Asian Institute of Policy and Governance (SIPG), North South University.